G.O.A.T. Featuring James T. Smith: The Greatest of All Time

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Almost from the start of his career, LL Cool J has simultaneously been kicking rough rhymes to get respect from the hardrocks, and when they're looking the other way trying to sweet-talk their honeys. He's still doin' it. Whether he's doin' it well depends on whether you like mainstream rap: LL is a man of these times, and he ain't trying to challenge today's vocabulary-challenged, materialistic climate. On the ambitiously named The Greatest of All Time, LL asserts his allegiance to the streets on rumbling tracks like "Back Where I Belong" and "Queens Is." Yes, even after years as a sitcom star and Hollywood player, he's still "hard as hell." The cut "Homicide" almost single-handedly resurrects LL's credibility. Beginning with the line "Columbine happens in the ghetto every day," LL spins cautionary tales about junkies and murderers ("looking so clean and living so filthy") and proceeds to analyze the way that the media ignores ghetto violence. LL fails on the ladies' loverman side, however; where he once needed love, nowadays he just needs to freak. He explains his lustful thoughts in crass, clichéd detail, dwelling on brand names like Lil' Kim and on body parts like a plastic surgeon (on "Imagine That" and the phone fantasy "Hello"). And on "This Is Us," he tilts a little too far on the ignorance-o-meter: according to LL, if wifey doesn't have the fried chicken piping hot when he gets home, it's her fault if her man creeps. Yes, he's still relevant 15 years after he first rocked the bells. But it's definitely time to hang up the bearskin rug. -Lizz Mendez Berry